If Americans have a tendency towards excessive use and overconsumption of natural resources, then in contrast, my impression of the French is a tendency towards extreme conservation bordering on neurotic deprivation. This can be illustrated in Loic’s parents’ conservation of water and other household utilities, and the refusal to use the clothes’ dryer. They are not poor.
A most significant illustration is Loic’s extreme distaste for spending money in any way. I believe that if Loic and I were swimming in wealth he would still avoid spending money wherever possible. I acknowledge that I have unusual values as an American in that I like living with less and what I do possess is often second-hand or found. Although I am starting to feel that money and the security it brings are an illusion. (I am currently in the middle of reading, "Busting Loose From the Money Game." Very intriguing.)
In contradiction to their conservation, the French love good food and drink, and I have been served more glasses of Champagne in the six weeks I have spent in France than I have previously consumed in my entire life up to this point, and that includes, “Sparkling Wine”. Today I was fed Foie Gras and caviar as a guest at dinner. Actually, I have been virtually force-fed to eat much more than I would like at times, which has been often, during the family’s long, paid holiday time. Was the intent to make foie gras out of me? No, it was simply the cultural imperative to feed a guest one is showing hospitality to. Mind you, the food was delicious.
I have been fed rabbit, langostines, duck, mussles smoked in a barbecue of pine needles (a regional specialty), and tried one half of a snail (bleccchhh). My favorite dishes have been Vinegar Chicken (with shallot, mushroom, sundried tomato in a fabulous clear sauce--unbelievable, and Loic cooks it, too), and a beef fondue, both prepared by Loic’s mother, Evelyn. I have enjoyed some fabulous wines from the Bordeaux region (the French people’s favorite, I think), as well as a few from Bergerac in the Dordogne region.
By far my favorite (alcoholic) drink here is red Pineau, a regional drink of Charentes-Maritime, the family’s region. I believe it is the juice of the Pineau grape added to brandy, and fermented for at least a year. Families often grow the grape in their yards. I absolutely love it.
Loic’s home region is also world-famous for their sea salt, in particular, Fleur de Sel, literally translated as “Flower of Salt”, a very pure salt which is hand-harvested and sun-dried, and intended to be eaten raw on top of things like sliced tomato. My favorite, though, is the less-prized, grey and hence more flavorful as well as nutritive, Sel de Mer. I brought back a kilo or something, and spread the love.
I have witnessed such wonderful animals and wildlife in France. Especially on the winding, two-lane roads which are known as national roads. Storks nesting on the power lines and in flight, cattle in every color, donkeys, horses, sheep, the “Pi” bird, which looks like a crow but is black and white with a long thin tail. Martins, snails, wild swans, hawks and eagles, chickens and roosters, ducks, pigs, frogs and crawfish in a puddle, an 80-year-old pet tortoise. Huge, opalescent jellyfish washed up on the beach. Lavendar used as an ornamental, wild poppies, and chamomile.
I have toured more medieval castles, fortresses, and cities than I thought I ever would. Roman ruins and prehistoric caves to boot.
I have been thrown into very long parties, at times lasting 12 hours long. Talk about language immersion.
I will miss the “bonjours” that even young boys have said to me in the street. I will miss the cheek-kissing which brings an immediate sense of intimacy, belonging, and affection. I will miss the continuity of tradition, the sense of beauty here. I will miss every house possessing terra cotta roof tiles, and the white stucco over the stone house walls. And yes, I will miss all of Loic’s family, from his dear grandparents to the youngest nephew, 4 years old at the time of this writing, who sometimes drove me crazy. France I will miss you!
Lastly, on Thursday the 29th of July, 2010, Loic proposed to me in a park in Rochefort, France. We were sitting on a park bench, and he got down on one knee and, with a beautiful diamond ring, asked me to be his wife. He had actually bought a ring, he later told me, in March of 2008, on impulse. This is very unusual for him, since as I have said, he is not the type to spend money, especially impulsively. He said he wasn’t sure when he was going to propose to me, and unbelievably, this ring travelled with him to a number of countries, and stayed with him in some pretty low-security places. I had actually discovered the ring accidentally while looking for a room key in his bag, while in Costa Rica, and I knew he was carrying the ring with him to France.
I watched what I thought were Special Moments fly by during our trip to France. I know that I didn’t make it especially easy for him to propose, I’ll admit. Eventually, as our holiday started wind down, I started to push him, saying things like, “You know, the perfect moment isn’t going to just happen on it’s own, you need to make it happen,” and, “I would very much like to be proposed to before I get on another plane.” It was two weeks until our flight. A day or two later I said, “Ok, you have only one week to propose to me, because if I give you until the day of our flight, it may not happen here! You have until Thursday!” Of course he grumbled, like a good man will.
When he finally proposed, it felt so unreal. And I was so relieved and happy to have it finally happen. I felt that Loic really did value me as he claimed. I love wearing this ring now, and it feels so right.
Our story back in the U.S to come next!
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