Our Stay In Rochefort, France

This entry was written while in Rochefort...

If Americans have a tendency towards excessive use and overconsumption of natural resources, then in contrast, my impression of the French is a tendency towards extreme conservation bordering on neurotic deprivation. This can be illustrated in Loic’s parents’ conservation of water and other household utilities, and the refusal to use the clothes’ dryer. They are not poor.

A most significant illustration is Loic’s extreme distaste for spending money in any way. I believe that if Loic and I were swimming in wealth he would still avoid spending money wherever possible. I acknowledge that I have unusual values as an American in that I like living with less and what I do possess is often second-hand or found. Although I am starting to feel that money and the security it brings are an illusion. (I am currently in the middle of reading, "Busting Loose From the Money Game." Very intriguing.)

In contradiction to their conservation, the French love good food and drink, and I have been served more glasses of Champagne in the six weeks I have spent in France than I have previously consumed in my entire life up to this point, and that includes, “Sparkling Wine”. Today I was fed Foie Gras and caviar as a guest at dinner. Actually, I have been virtually force-fed to eat much more than I would like at times, which has been often, during the family’s long, paid holiday time. Was the intent to make foie gras out of me? No, it was simply the cultural imperative to feed a guest one is showing hospitality to. Mind you, the food was delicious.

I have been fed rabbit, langostines, duck, mussles smoked in a barbecue of pine needles (a regional specialty), and tried one half of a snail (bleccchhh). My favorite dishes have been Vinegar Chicken (with shallot, mushroom, sundried tomato in a fabulous clear sauce--unbelievable, and Loic cooks it, too), and a beef fondue, both prepared by Loic’s mother, Evelyn. I have enjoyed some fabulous wines from the Bordeaux region (the French people’s favorite, I think), as well as a few from Bergerac in the Dordogne region.

By far my favorite (alcoholic) drink here is red Pineau, a regional drink of Charentes-Maritime, the family’s region. I believe it is the juice of the Pineau grape added to brandy, and fermented for at least a year. Families often grow the grape in their yards. I absolutely love it.

Loic’s home region is also world-famous for their sea salt, in particular, Fleur de Sel, literally translated as “Flower of Salt”, a very pure salt which is hand-harvested and sun-dried, and intended to be eaten raw on top of things like sliced tomato. My favorite, though, is the less-prized, grey and hence more flavorful as well as nutritive, Sel de Mer. I brought back a kilo or something, and spread the love.

I have witnessed such wonderful animals and wildlife in France. Especially on the winding, two-lane roads which are known as national roads. Storks nesting on the power lines and in flight, cattle in every color, donkeys, horses, sheep, the “Pi” bird, which looks like a crow but is black and white with a long thin tail. Martins, snails, wild swans, hawks and eagles, chickens and roosters, ducks, pigs, frogs and crawfish in a puddle, an 80-year-old pet tortoise. Huge, opalescent jellyfish washed up on the beach. Lavendar used as an ornamental, wild poppies, and chamomile.

I have toured more medieval castles, fortresses, and cities than I thought I ever would. Roman ruins and prehistoric caves to boot.

I have been thrown into very long parties, at times lasting 12 hours long. Talk about language immersion.

I will miss the “bonjours” that even young boys have said to me in the street. I will miss the cheek-kissing which brings an immediate sense of intimacy, belonging, and affection. I will miss the continuity of tradition, the sense of beauty here. I will miss every house possessing terra cotta roof tiles, and the white stucco over the stone house walls. And yes, I will miss all of Loic’s family, from his dear grandparents to the youngest nephew, 4 years old at the time of this writing, who sometimes drove me crazy. France I will miss you!

Lastly, on Thursday the 29^th of July, 2010, Loic proposed to me in a park in Rochefort, France. We were sitting on a park bench, and he got down on one knee and, with a beautiful diamond ring, asked me to be his wife. He had actually bought a ring, he later told me, in March of 2008, on impulse. This is very unusual for him, since as I have said, he is not the type to spend money, especially impulsively. He said he wasn’t sure when he was going to propose to me, and unbelievably, this ring travelled with him to a number of countries, and stayed with him in some pretty low-security places. I had actually discovered the ring accidentally while looking for a room key in his bag, while in Costa Rica, and I knew he was carrying the ring with him to France.

I watched what I thought were Special Moments fly by during our trip to France. I know that I didn’t make it especially easy for him to propose, I’ll admit. Eventually, as our holiday started wind down, I started to push him, saying things like, “You know, the perfect moment isn’t going to just happen on it’s own, you need to make it happen,” and, “I would very much like to be proposed to before I get on another plane.” It was two weeks until our flight. A day or two later I said, “Ok, you have only one week to propose to me, because if I give you until the day of our flight, it may not happen here! You have until Thursday!” Of course he grumbled, like a good man will.

When he finally proposed, it felt so unreal. And I was so relieved and happy to have it finally happen. I felt that Loic really did value me as he claimed. I love wearing this ring now, and it feels so right.

Our story back in the U.S to come next!

The Wonderlands of Paris and Vienna

Forgive me friends, it has been too long since my/our last blog. I am re-c0mmitting to this blog and my writing. This blog is kind of turning into a "Mostly Rachel Writing - Blog" I suppose. I have a greater interest in sharing myself through writing than Loic does at this point. We'll see what happens.

I am going to skip the writing I did about our Couchsurfing experience, but I'll mention here that its a truly great online community and resource. Also, I am going to skip the writing I did about Hotel Intercontinental, Paris Le Grand, in Paris, although it was amazing for Loic to win a free night as well as a free breakfast there! The following is my first writing on this trip:

I am writing this while sitting, exhausted, within the palace of Versailles, after doing much of the garden, and then most of the rooms available to the public. Versailles still

impresses, even in this age where little is left to impress us. My feet are hurting and my entire body is sore. Loic is disappointed with me for not being willing to do everything that he wants to do. There is still a lot he has to learn about a Diabetic who has had diabetes for 28 years, and especially one who has just reached her 40^th birthday. The body undergoes significant changes between 35 and 40, even for the so-called “normal” person. Loic is 4 years younger than I am, and possibly he will be more sympathetic to my condition as he ages himself.

My endurance level and my ability to handle stress is seemingly much less than his at this moment in time. I have been surprised that he did not book or plan ahead of time some of things we were to do on this trip, since I have known him to be a very good planner and strategizer in general. He surprises me in delightful ways and also in disturbing ways. Although we only had four days in Paris this time around, (although we have both been in Paris before, this is our first time seeing it together, and while I am having a birthday), some of our nights were not booked in advance at any hotel. A word to the wise: If you are spending two weeks or less at a destination, it is a good idea to know where you are going to sleep ahead of time, otherwise, so much of your journey is spent figuring that out, or being preoccupied about it! A bonus tip: Make finding the place where you are going to stay the first night easy to find and travel to.

I also discovered recently that booking a convenient hotel near the airport the night before your plane is due to leave relieves a lot of stress. I have learned so much about travel in such a short period of time, possibly because I have done so much of it without the interruption of that pesky thing called a job…. For one, there are often things that you can add to your list of “Never To Do Again” (am I starting to sound like Bill Bryson here?), and two, lack of communication among travel partners can kill the pleasure in travel. You think you have problems communicating in your relationship, try traveling together. Either you learn fast or the relationship will be destroyed.

I am baffled that Loic needs to be perpetually reminded of my needs and limits—I don’t know how else to keep reminding him yet without getting angry. Yet, back on the issue of surprises, and his ability to brilliantly plan, he delightfully surprised me by having planned two weekend road trips while we were staying with his family in France. While in Vienna, he surprised me with two tickets to a classical music concert in the famous music hall Musikwerein (sp?), as an early birthday present. I really enjoyed that.

I enjoyed Vienna, not only because of the art and architecture ( I saw a fabulous collection by one of my favorite artists, Hundertwasser, later Gustav Klimt and various pre-Raphaelite painters as well), but also because of its musical history. My father’s mother’s family comes from there, and supposedly one of my ancestors sang in the Vienna Opera House. The city is very quiet, the public transportation is excellent, and it even smells good. There isn’t much more that could make me happy. Celine, Loic’s sister, and her husband, Sebastien, were very gracious hosts, with a lovely, spacious apartment, a great bathroom (always a plus), and a very comfortable guest bed, which as it turns out, used to be Loic’s when he lived in Paris. I really enjoyed staying with them and getting to know Jolan and Dorian….

Back to the philosophy of travel. There is so much that I do enjoy, and I’ve realized, in Europe especially. If Costa Rica was nature, then Europe is culture. The world becomes my museum—I enjoy the littlest to the most grandiose things, including shopping. This bothers Loic, who has no patience for my stopping and looking at things that could possibly be purchased. As Hundertwasser says, “The line I trace with my feet walking to the museum is more important and more beautiful than the lines I find there hung up on the walls.” (Paris, 1953, by the way!) Ergo, the sleep I have the night before my visit to the museum, or the breakfast I have before my visit, is more important and more beautiful. Nothing else matters if I don’t eat and sleep well, or if I am not relating well to my travel companions, ultimately.

One of the biggest issues, I feel, among travel companions, is that they must expect to spend time apart some of the time. If travel companions and partners of any kind can agree to do this regularly, it can save and even deepen your commitment to eachother. The trick is to plan these times before either of you gets fed up being together. And the trickiest part, really, is to find a happy compromise between time together and time apart.

More of France to come!